Why Can't I Get Better Already?

anxiety doing the right thing doubt yourself forward progress frustration mindset and emotional changes sabotage why can't i get better Sep 10, 2020
Unhappy Woman

I hear some variation of this phrase occasionally from my clients when they're frustrated about their forward progress.

It's natural to want the quick fix, magic pill, 0-60 solution that launches you into your desired goal. After all, we're bombarded with marketing propaganda that promises you a better life if you can just get rid of whatever pesky problem is bothering you. 

It's incredibly frustrating when you're doing all the "right things" but you aren't progressing as fast as you hope. When you're in this space, you begin to doubt yourself, the process, your treatment etc. 

Here are a few things to keep in mind when you find yourself feeling stuck and wanting to quit. 

1) When you get better, your sabotages will rear their ugly heads.

All journeys will have a beginning, middle, and end. The point where you're most likely to quit is in the middle. You've lost the initial hope and excitement of something new, and you're not yet at the end where you've achieved your goal. This is the most delicate part of any healing (or goal oriented) journey. This middle ground is where you've seen some positive changes and benefits. It's also where your ego begins to whisper in your ear that "Shouldn't you be farther along? What's wrong with you? You'll never get better (or reach your goal)? There's no hope for you! You should quit now and try something else." 

That inner voice is a sneaky little jerk! The survival brain is afraid because when you make changes, you're moving into new territory. Since its whole job is to keep you safe, it throws up sabotages and warning signs to make you back off and slip back into comfortable territory where you're easily controlled. It takes courage and consistency to quiet the voice in your head and keep going when you're in the middle of your journey.

2) How deep does the rabbit hole go?

When you're doing work that's addressing mindset and behavioral changes, the rabbit hole of your subconscious can go pretty deep. Your subconscious (or emotional brain) loves to make separate little issues out of something you consider to be one big issue. Your logical brain encompasses everything into one neat little package, but your emotional brain considers every little variable as its own unique issue. This is one reason why therapy, mindset work, and behavioral changes can take extra time to solve. Don't give up because each layer you solve brings you closer to the resolution that you crave. 

3) You have to see the problem before you can fix it.

Most of my clients list anxiety as their main issue. It certainly feels as if anxiety is their main problem. However, anxiety is a consequence to a much deeper problem. Only when we dive deep to find and solve the actual problem does the anxiety resolve. Once you learn to recognize the patterns that caused your particular issue, then you begin to consciously turn away from it to choose better options. This applies to multiple areas of your life that go far beyond your original issue. 

When you're working on making mindset and behavioral changes, these 4 things are so helpful to your journey. 

*Willingness

*Courage

*Patience

*Consistency

If you can embody these 4 qualities, then I know you can be successful!

If you'd like a consultation to see how emotional strength coaching can help you, then click here to book your free consultation. 


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April Darley N.D. is an Emotional Strength Coach specializing in helping Empaths/Highly Sensitive People feel better, and function better by releasing stress, anxiety, pain, and sabotaging behavior. Through the combination of coaching and emotional release techniques, you'll learn how to step into your own power, comfortably deal with life's challenges, and stay calm and balanced. 

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