Triggers And TransformationsAug 16, 2020
Have you ever met someone that you immediately disliked? Do you have a family member, co-worker or partner that seem to push your buttons until you react? If so, then you've been “triggered” in some way.
Triggers exist for a variety of reasons. Often, we're subconsciously recognizing a trait in the other person that we dislike as being present in ourselves. It's like we're standing in front of a mirror showing we also have the same or similar trait. This is often a difficult concept to accept when you seem so different from the person or situation which is triggering you. However, there's a portion of your subconscious brain that recognizes similarities in ourselves and others including the situations we experience. The situations and traits don’t have to be identical for the brain to group them together. They just have to be close enough and the brain will react accordingly.
Although being triggered can seem uncomfortable at first, therein lies a great source of healing transformation. If you're being triggered, then you're actually in a powerful position to change your life! Here are some steps to transform your triggers.
1) Whatever emotion arises, let yourself feel it.
There are no “bad” emotions. Every emotion has a purpose and can be used for healing when channeled appropriately. It’s important to let yourself feel whatever emotion arises instead of trying to distract yourself or bury it. By suppressing your emotions, you're actually delaying your healing and transformation! Although it’s important to let yourself have the emotional experience, it's equally important not to get stuck there.
2) Identify the emotion surfacing in your triggered moment.
It may be instinctual to deny that you have any similarities in common with the person or situation triggering you. This step is one of the most difficult because it requires that you look inside yourself and find the emotion or concept that is bothering you. This will require total honesty in order to recognize and admit how you might be doing the same to others. This is the step that people tend to run from, but it's incredibly powerful and leads to true transformation.
3) Once you've identified the emotion or concept triggering you, next identify how this has affected or shaped your life.
Once you understand why you are being triggered, you can probably recall several instances where you've made choices because of it. This presents you with your greatest opportunity for transformation. This is the moment where you can choose a different path for yourself and no longer allow your triggers to shape your life.
4) Let that stuff go!
When you recognize how destructive or disruptive your triggers have been, letting them go can give you a great sense of peace and freedom. If possible, try to forgive both yourself and the person or situation that triggered you. The trigger served as a signpost to help you. One way to facilitate forgiveness is by practicing gratitude. Fear and anger cannot co-exist with gratitude. There are several ways to facilitate gratitude and forgiveness including meditation, journaling and affirmations.
The first steps to transformation involve a willingness to change and to no longer be affected by triggers and destructive patterns. It takes great courage to delve into the darkness within, but I believe can do it and thrive. If you need additional support, then please consider Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.) , coaching, or counseling to assist you on your journey.
Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.”
― Rikki Rogers
Dr. April Darley is an expert at resolving stuck patterns of behavior through Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.) and success coaching. By identifying self-sabotaging behaviors, she can help you regain confidence, improve relationships, remove blocks to health, wealth and success in any area of your life.
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