Killing Your Darlings

advance the story killing your darlings neuro-emotional technique stephen king Aug 03, 2020

That's a pretty strange title for a blog, right? 

Did it make you cringe or were you just curious and wanted to check it out?

I know it sounds dramatic and I certainly don't mean ACTUALLY killing anyone. However, you may have to kill something!

 So, what does it mean to "Kill your darlings"?

 I came across the phrase as I was reading a business book. The phrase is from author, Stephen King, and refers to making some tough choices regarding your characters.

According to King, sometimes you have to kill everyone's favorite character to advance the story. It might pain you to do it, but the story won't grow and develop as it should if you keep your darling alive. So, you have to kill your darlings.

How does this relate to your personal or business life? 

 You're probably more familiar with the phrase, "If it isn't working for you, then stop doing it!"

 Well, that's pretty good advice in general and it's far easier to do when it's something you don't like, can't stand, or outright hate. But, how do you stop doing what you love when it isn't working? This is the dilemma of killing your darling. 

 First, it's going to take some honest evaluation.

What do you love about your darling (i.e. an activity, project, job, or person etc.)? In what way is it fulfilling you? Is there a way to transform your darling into something that does work or connect with others?

Here's an example: You love writing and put out a weekly newsletter to your clients. However, the open and click rate to your website is very low. Yet, you continue to dedicate your time every week to write it, design it, schedule it, and send it out. Why? Because it's your darling! You love it! The problem is that others aren't connecting with it. They DON'T love your darling. In fact, they just delete it without even giving it a second thought!

So, you have a choice to make. You can continue what you're doing without results, alter the content to something more relevant to your clients, or kill your darling. Either way you look at it, something has to change. The best solution is to choose the option where you still get to do what you love, but the outcome is more profitable for your business.

If you embrace change, then you have an opportunity to connect with your audience and find out what content they're craving. This would allow you to keep writing a newsletter (your darling) but would ensure that your time and talent isn't going to waste. If you decide to completely kill your darling, then you now have free time to devote to something more productive for your business. You may not love it as much, but business growth (advancing your story) is also important!

You probably know why you LOVE your darling, but how could it be holding you back? Be honest! Are you wasting your time and talent on something only you can see the value? Are you being too stubborn to make necessary changes? Are you ignoring feedback because you don't want to see or acknowledge something negative? Are you scared to give it up because you don't know what else to do?

Being stuck in your routines and too attached can be limiting to your own growth story. If you're having trouble answering any of the questions about your darlings in this Blog, then Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.) can help you uncover and release sabotages and blocks to advancing your own personal or business growth story. 

So my darlings, what do you need to kill to advance your story?


 Dr. April Darley is an expert at resolving stuck patterns of behavior through Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.). By identifying self-sabotaging behaviors, she can help you regain confidence, improve relationships, remove blocks to health, wealth and success in any area of your life.



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