Lately, I've been talking to people that are constantly on the go-go-go! The problem? They don't know when to slow down. Even worse, they feel guilty for slowing down and feel like they should be doing even more!
The "Busy People" as I call them tend to have particular traits in common.
1) They were held to a very high standard of performance when they were children.
Many times, if their parents' standards or expectations weren't met, then some form of punishment was involved. Very often, the fear of disappointing their parents was enough to drive them to obsessive over achievement.
2) They keep telling themselves that they'll take a break when they make a certain goal.
The problem here is that there's another goal waiting right behind it! There's often no end in sight. I have a friend that only takes time to rest because she's absolutely burnt out and becomes physically ill. This illness is her body's desperate attempt to get her to stop and it's the only way she'll listen. If you ignore the body's signals to slow down, then quite often something drastic happens to force you to slow down.
3) Control is important to the "Busy People".
When you can control every piece and circumstance in your environment, you feel safe, happy and secure. In order to stimulate these feelings, it can cause a person to become rigid and inflexible. Anxiety or anger are frequent especially if things or people don't go according to their carefully crafted plans.
4) They are so busy that they don't have time for self-work.
Rest, peace and quiet, can be scary to the "Busy People" because the issues and feelings they've stuffed down begin to re-surface when things go quiet. In order to avoid working on the "emotional stuff" which confronts them with things that are unflattering and that they'd rather not face, they drown it in a never ending storm of activity. When these issues are stuffed, ignored, and repressed, they don't simply go away because you ignore them. It's often quite the opposite. Problems can only be stuffed for so long before they will demand your attention in an explosive way.
5) They tend to be People Pleasers.
Do you have a hard time saying NO? If you're a people pleaser, then the fear of letting someone down can be worse than overextending yourself. You may be such a loving and giving person, that you'll burn your own energy out in an effort to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE! You may be so busy giving, that you don't slow down enough to let yourself RECEIVE!
If any of this is sounding way too familiar, and you'd like to jump off the carousel of non-stop crazy busy, then consider Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.) as a way to help you identify the drive behind why it's difficult for you to slow down, take care of yourself, and relax! It's far better to do self work willingly than have a crisis force your hand.
Dr. April Darley is an expert at resolving stuck patterns of behavior through Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.). By identifying self-sabotaging behaviors, she can help you regain confidence, improve relationships, remove blocks to health, wealth and success in any area of your life.