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Speaker: Welcome to the Bite-Sized Brilliance podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and today I wanna talk about one of the big topics that drives us in life, and that is _"What is my life purpose?"_ It's that search for meaning. I have clients come to me occasionally who ask, _"I really need to know my purpose"._
And there's something going on out there in the collective where I'm starting to see more and more people searching for those kind of answers. You might be one of those and have asked yourself some version of the following question, _"What is my life purpose? What am I supposed to be doing next? Or what does it all mean? Why am I here?"_ And these are really great questions. That search for meaning and purpose is a really innate part of who we are as a human. And when my clients come in with these big questions, I find that they are [00:01:00] often split into two groups. The first group feels like maybe they have no clue what the purpose is and that they haven't achieved it. And this group often equates your work as your worth.
They get confused with your purpose is something you're supposed to do and make money from. Now, the other camp, when they come in, they have achieved a lot and they've really enjoyed that process of achieving and what they've built. And for those people, it's more of what next? Because when you have checked off every goal that was on your list, life is going to require you to do something different and think bigger. So either way, you're gonna hit this void space in your life eventually, where you start thinking about _what does it all mean?_ And you do this life review and go, _what have I been doing up _[00:02:00] _to this point? And am I satisfied with what I've done or achieved so far?_
_What does it all mean?_ Now when my clients bring this dilemma to me, I really try to determine which camp they're in. Are they the ones who work equals your worth and they're looking for that fulfillment of achievement? Or are you on the other side where you've achieved a lot, you're really happy about that, you're just want to get clarity on what to build next?
So, for the first group of people, I find that many of them feel like they were created with some specific purpose in mind. Now, whether you call that God, universe, spirit, what have you, but they feel that there's something that they were put here to do. Only this creator, God, universe, source, did not give them the blueprint or the instructions to do it. So then they're left floundering, trying to figure it out themselves, and they don't feel [00:03:00] they've done a good job.
What I find in this group is there's a lot of judgment to where they have done the things, but they're judging what they've done and looking at it and going, _"It's not big enough. It's not grand enough."_ And for whatever reason, they think that when they were created with this purpose, they were supposed to go big.
You know, you hear this in Texas a lot, right? Go big or go home, and they don't wanna go home feeling like a failure. That they didn't do something grand or big. And this causes a lot of internal conflict, struggle, and angst when you feel that whatever you've done isn't number one the right thing or it isn't enough or good enough.
And when it comes to purpose of people in this camp, I have an opinion that I will give to them, and I think it's quite likely that we were programmed or created with a certain purpose, but [00:04:00] it's not like we weren't given the blueprint. What I think actually happens is that this purpose is so innate to us.
It is so entwined with who we are as a person that you can't help but to do it and you already are doing it in some form or fashion. You either don't see it because it's so ingrained in who you are, or you're judging it as being not good enough or grand enough, and you're absolutely dismissing it. So I'm gonna give you an example of a real client of mine.
We had this discussion maybe about four years ago. She's a realtor and she was thinking about what is my purpose? Is it real estate? And she loved selling real estate, but in her mind at that particular time, maybe it wasn't grand enough, maybe it wasn't enough. And so I asked her,_ "Why do you love _[00:05:00] _selling real estate?"_
And she described the feeling of matching someone with the perfect home for them. And it was really important to her that she matched the right place with the right person so that they feel so happy and cozy and comfortable. Now we moved on from that, right? We talked about that and worked that out. But fast forward until just a couple of months ago, we started talking about life purpose again, and I asked her, _"What do you think the purpose of your life is?"_
And she's like, _love_. And she's like, _"I love people. I love what I do. I love sharing love. I love spreading love." _And you can see that in her whole demeanor. She's very much like sunshine. And it occurred to me then what she had said years prior about her job in real estate, and it was matchmaking. When you think about matchmaking in a [00:06:00] romance perspective, it is love.
And so matching that right fit home with that right fit buyer for her, she was living her life purpose and it is love, matchmaking, making sure people feel so good and cozy. And she could be doing anything if she wasn't in real estate. She would bring that life purpose with her to every single thing she did.
And my personal opinion is because our purpose is so entwined and ingrained with who we are, you cannot fail at it. You're going to do it just by going about your normal life. For example, my life purpose is being a healer. That's the theme. And if it helps you to think about it this way, purposes can often be grouped in themes.
You have a healing theme, and this might be people like doctors, nurses, bartenders, hairstylists. [00:07:00] But the theme is that you're helping people in some way, and that is very healing. You've got another theme that's maybe entertainment, and you might find people who are comedians or dancers, performers, singers, or you just might be the funny guy who lives down the block who enjoys making people laugh.
It could have nothing to do with your job whatsoever, but entertaining people is who you are. It could be cooking and you might be a CEO of some huge company who just really loves to cook on your off time. And your life purpose may not be anything to do with your job that makes you money, but you love having people over to your home creating these amazing five course dinners because that is where you feel fulfilled. And I think people get it twisted when they look for purpose. They try to make it about their work. They try to make it about [00:08:00] what brings you money. And sometimes that's true and it aligns that way, but most of the time it's just who you are and you're going to be who you are no matter what you do. Your purpose will show up for you. But if you need some help asking yourself some questions to figure out who you are and what it is that you do. Start looking at your true passions.
So if you had all the money in the world, all the time in the world, you could not fail and everyone you know would be absolutely supportive of what you wanted to do without question. What would you want to do? And most of the time that's wrapped up in your purpose in some way.
Some people are going to answer that question with philanthropy or charity or support. Some people might answer that question with adventure or travel. And what I find is [00:09:00] there are three layers when you go a little bit deeper. So right now, if you're listening to this and money is a major concern, and if you ask yourself that question, if you have the time, the money, the energy, the support in the world, you could not fail.
You might start telling me things like pay off debts, secure your inheritances, and then the next level is going to be fun for yourself. You're gonna travel the world, you're gonna get yourself all the toys and boats and planes and cars and see all the countries. But it's that third level where you actually start connecting with your higher self, your higher perspective, and what your heart really wants most of the time.
Okay, so give yourself a break. If you need to take that exercise in three levels. If you add all the time, the money, the energy in the world, everybody was supportive of what you wanted to do and you could not fail, what would it be? Really think about that. Spend some time journaling to get to the heart of who you are.
What do you [00:10:00] love to do if none of those things mattered? If we weren't worried about time or money, or if people like us or not, what would you wanna be out there doing or creating or experiencing? Or how would you wanna make sure that other people are taken care of? How would you want to be of service to the world?
Because that is what the purpose is. It's not necessarily your job. Now for the second group of people who have done so many things, maybe they have plenty of time, they have plenty of money. They've built such great businesses that things are mostly on autopilot and they have achieved all of these goals.
They find themselves in almost the same place. There is something that's now asking them to evolve even bigger, and that can be scary because it's an identity challenge. What got them here to this level is not going to be the thing that gets them to the next level. [00:11:00] Maybe their priorities have shifted.
And what I see with this group of people, it's no longer about personal accomplishment. It is often about accomplishments on larger, global, collective scales. So if they were not involved in a lot of philanthropy or charity work or purpose or service driven work before, that's often the next place they go.
They start thinking about impact for society or the collective and how their activities, their passions can now serve larger audiences. And that's a little bit scary when you have built really big things already. Learning to think bigger. You're going to run up against this piece that says, but I'm already kind of tired now.
I can't imagine doing more. And that's a big sabotage. This group , they think more would limit them in some way or [00:12:00] burden them in some way, or they're in this void space. So they need to learn that more doesn't mean personal burden because they've already built these things to take care of that, and it's asking that group to tap into their creativity even more.
So the next version of them is likely going to be service-based and creative more than it is hands-on structure and strategy that maybe , that was their identity and that helped them build things to that point where they feel really comfortable and they got to check off the goals. It's almost like switching from that left side brain where it's a lot of logic to that right side brain where it's about dreams and creativity.
Either way, it's doing something different to be somewhere you've never been. And that is really scary for both groups of people. And the smarter you are, the more complicated you like to make things. It's [00:13:00] this weird thing that we all experience. So if you are listening to this and you're an incredibly smart person, I guarantee you that you're making things way harder than they need to be.
But if you're getting lost in the churn of feeling overwhelmed, you need some support or guidance about making you aware of some things that you're really good at, your strengths. Aware of where you could go next with some strategy, or finally dealing with these identity sabotages or old subconscious patterns that are keeping you stuck and in a fear-based state. Then I would invite you to connect with me at aprildarley.com. Let's book a free consultation and you can find out how we can work together to get you the clarity, the certainty and stability that a piece of you is looking for and is ready for right now. All right, my friends, I'm gonna leave you with this.
Whatever you think about your purpose right now, you're probably being too [00:14:00] hard on yourself. You probably already know what it is. You just need some encouragement to relax and let that information flow up from the subconscious to your conscious mind so that you can utilize it. It's about getting rid of this pattern your work equals your worth, or that your next level is going to burden you. Big takeaways from today.
If you've enjoyed this episode, please like, share, follow me on all the things. I am so grateful. But until next week, I want you to know you're doing a really great job and what you're here to do, I guarantee you, in some way, shape, form, or fashion, you're already doing it and you are already successful.
Just let yourself see it, believe it, and receive it. Until next week, my friends. Goodbye.
