BSB 116
===
Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Bite-Sized Brilliance podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and today I wanna talk about what happens when you and someone else don't speak the same language. Now, I'm not talking about foreign languages here, but the same principle applies. It's easy to spot when two people are speaking different languages in a foreign language sense. So if you are speaking English and someone else is speaking German or Spanish, you pick up on that immediately. Your brain clues in, oh, okay, we're not speaking the same language, no problem. And you try to get around that. Maybe you can mime some gestures like eating or wave your hand in front of your face it's hot. So you can't still communicate. But it's not as fluid or as easy as if you were both speaking the same language. That [00:01:00] happens every day, even when you think you are speaking the same language. Let me give you an example. On last week's Bite-Sized Brilliance, episode number 115, I talked about the concept of a subconscious playbook. Head on over and listen to that if you feel you need to catch up. But that subconscious playbook is really one part diary and one part blueprint. And together that gets translated into an automatic program that your subconscious runs because your brain is a predictive machine and it tries to keep you safe by predicting your future.
And the way it predicts your future is to determine how you reacted in your past. It gives it the data it needs to project your emotions or experiences going forward. And that one part diary, one part blueprint, I'm gonna throw another part in there. Let's [00:02:00] say it's one part dictionary because it's true.
Every single word you speak gets cataloged with a meaning and an emotion. Now, it's been a long time since you learned how to read, I'm guessing. But if you had children yourself, or you could think back that far. Before you could actually read, your parents would point to something and name it. So you might've been able to name things before you could spell.
And then when it came time for you to read, you needed to learn the ABCs and how to put them together to make sounds that would eventually make a word. And when you knew the word, you put some kind of meaning to the word. This is how your brain and memory naturally works. But let's say the word cat. If you were learning the word cat from one of your story books, you see the picture of the cat, you know what the cat means.
But if you're a dog household, you don't have a cat. But [00:03:00] as soon as you go over to your friend's house to play and they have a cat, you're like, oh, you know it as a cat. You see it as a cat. But what happens when that cat bites you or scratches you? It's no longer a neutral concept. Now you might tag it with a meaning that says cats are bad, cats hurt you, and then you start to develop some kind of blueprint or definition about what cats mean to you.
And fast forward, eventually you're like, I'm not a cat person, I'm a dog person. Oh, you are a cat person, and you form some kind of judgment or definition about what it means to own a cat. What kind of people would own a cat that bites and attacks people? It's like you can't understand it. And this is how that subconscious playbook gets created.
So now let's bring it back to language. If two people said, oh, I have a [00:04:00] cat. The one person who loves cats, they've made it mean something else. And if you go, I have a cat, but you're deathly afraid of them, cats mean something completely different. So even though you're both speaking English, you both know what a cat is, you have different definitions of what a cat is and what that means. And this is why it can be so challenging trying to communicate with someone, because even if you're saying the same words, they don't mean the same thing because you're applying your lived experience to that scenario. Now, when you do this often enough, you don't truly understand the roots and the snowball scenario that this automatic program takes in your life.
And I wanna give you kind of a harmless example, but I went to a seminar with a mentor and I admired her greatly. And she's a business and marketing mentor, and she started talking [00:05:00] about how imposter syndrome does not exist. Which I thought was very curious as a coach. And then she went on to describe what she thought was happening when someone said they had imposter syndrome.
And when I listened to her describe in her world what that meant. I'm looking around at the audience and going, is anybody else hearing this? Because what she described was the textbook definition of imposter syndrome. But in her mind, imposter syndrome didn't exist. It meant this definition. But her definition was what would commonly be agreed on as imposter syndrome. Like she didn't see it. She didn't even clue into it, but for some reason she was just adamant that that term didn't exist. But the symptoms she described were what you see every day if you're a coach that works with people who have imposter syndrome. And this is what I [00:06:00] mean by how you define a thing.
How you experience that thing. And when you're communicating with someone else, they don't actually hear what you say. They hear what they have created that word to mean inside of them. So when two people talk about cats, one person loves cats, the other person hates cats, they're going to filter what that concept means through their own internal playbook. And then based on that playbook, your subconscious decides how you act and how you feel. Not your conscious brain, not the logical, rational piece of you. You will experience emotion first, logic second. And if you don't understand how this works, then you get caught up in the emotion because you forget to bring logic in.
If you are a person who's prone to anxiety, prone to [00:07:00] exaggerated emotional responses, or you have issues with nervous system regulation, it's in part because you've trained that piece of you to be very strong, to be very dominant. And so your subconscious just created a well-worn pathway for those responses.
That's okay. It can be changed if you don't like how you're responding in certain situations. What I do with my clients is I teach them what that internal guide actually means. And let's bring it back to that two people speaking a foreign language example. So if you're speaking English and someone else is speaking Spanish.
And you may have taken some Spanish in school, so you might understand a few words. They may have taken English and the same. But you can also pull out a translator app. We have these handy things now. You can pull out and bring in a translator and it makes the communication fluid and pretty [00:08:00] flawless, and you can achieve what you want to achieve so much faster because you had a translator to form that bridge between two people who didn't speak the same language.
What I do for my clients is play the role of the translator. I am showing you and teaching you the language of your own playbook that you don't even know you created. And when you understand your diary, your playbook, your blueprint, and I show you how that is manifesting in your life, in your thoughts, your feelings, and your emotions, then you actually get to take your giant eraser and erase that blueprint, change the definition of the word, and make something positive out of something that has been negative before you had me as your translator.
It sounds pretty simple and it is. Awareness and discernment plus a guide that takes you in the right direction so you get to where you want to [00:09:00] go faster. That's priceless. And you don't know what you don't know, so there's no blame here. But some part of you is still running these outdated programs with this outdated emotion or circumstances tagged to them that you may not want anymore.
You are ready for a new identity. You're ready to uplevel, you're ready to change your circumstances. And if you don't know where to start, then this is a good place. I would invite you to book a complimentary consultation with me at aprildarley.com and then we can talk about how my private coaching programs *Decode* and *Amplify *can help you achieve your goals through awareness, discernment, and creating the programs that you want in your life, not being a victim to what is playing in the background from an old version of you that you don't want anymore. If that sounds good, I will see you over at aprildarley.com. Thank you for [00:10:00] listening, and as always, if you enjoyed the podcast, like, share, follow. I will appreciate it all so much.
Until next week, my friends, goodbye.
