BSB 109
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Bite-Sized Brilliance podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and I've got a quick question for you. Do you go through life looking at things from the inside out or the outside in? I know that sounds like a weird question, but stick with me here. When I graduated med school, my first grownup job as a doctor was at a medical aesthetics clinic.
So yes, I did lasers, Botox, fillers, and let me tell you, there were a lot of my classmates that gave me a little bit of side eye for that because to them, we'd gone through this entire four year program of holistic medicine, naturopathic medicine, and then suddenly I'm doing something mainstream like aesthetics.
So that will teach you that number one, no matter what you do, even if you have vision that people can't see yet, somebody's not gonna like it but k eep going anyway. Number two, is that I [00:01:00] saw something that my classmates couldn't see and it's that some people need their outside how they want it, so that they turn inward and do some deep inner work.
That means for some people, they needed their hair done. They needed their skin to be beautiful. They wanted no wrinkles. They wanted plump cheeks or fluffy lips, and it wasn't my place to judge that because it's all valid. You can work from the outside in or you can work from the inside out. But my job was to meet the person where they are.
And that's what we were taught in med school, is meet the person where they are, not where you want them to go. But meet them where they are, helps them stabilize, be comfortable, and then guide them gently in the direction that they want to go. So in my mind, there wasn't a conflict because I had already done postdoctoral work on mind body [00:02:00] programs.
Funnily enough, a year later, many of those same classmates that thought I was a sellout were asking me, Hey, how did you do this ? Because I had vision. Because I'm really good at seeing the patterns underneath the surface. It's the subconscious architecture, and I'm really good at making connections that other people don't see, which is why I love what I do.
But so yes, it's true. Some people need to feel good on the outside before they do deep inner work. Now other people, they do deep inner work first. These are the inside out people. They really dig into that subconscious architecture. They're very curious and they're reflectors. They wanna know how things work, including themselves, and when they feel good inside, meaning they don't need external validation, they're really great at internal validation.
They've worked on their self-esteem. They feel stable and [00:03:00] emotionally regulated and confident on the inside, then they're more open to start working on their outside. So let me ask you my friend, do you work from the outside in or the inside out? Both ways are absolutely valid as long as you are doing the work in the other realm, because both ways run the risk of sabotage if you're not embracing the opposite side. For example, if you are an outside in and you've only worked on your beauty or your fashion, your nails, your hair, your jewelry, accessories, all the things, but you haven't looked inside to work on self-esteem, confidence, and internal validation, eventually you may hit this wall where there's a void.
It's an internal void and you start to feel restless without purpose, depressed because your higher self, [00:04:00] this really wise internal piece that you've got, knows that you're capable of more. And if you are just existing as a material girl in a material world, right then. You might be missing the depth that you're capable of, and other people could even look at you as if you are superficial, vapid, no depth, and they may even think you're not intelligent, and that could be very, very far from the truth.
And the opposite is also true. If you've done so much inner work, you're absolutely brilliant, but yet you haven't done anything on the outside. You're still dressing in ripped or stained clothing. You don't pay any attention to your skin or your hair, then other people might assume that you don't care about yourself, which is very far from the truth.
It may sound unflattering, but humans are very visual creatures. There have been reports most recently I heard this [00:05:00] from Codie Sanchez. She's an excellent business woman and she was talking about this study, which really made her work on her outside is because well groomed individuals earn up to 25% more.
They're given more opportunities for advancement. They're given more invitations to rooms where bigger people are playing in bigger stakes, and she started noticing, I'm not getting some of those invitations because I am internal. She's very smart, but she wasn't doing some of the external things. There was a mismatch, and recently Amy Porterfield, who has made $60 million on the online course space, sent out an email that she just hired a personal stylist because she also hit this point where she felt my external isn't matching my internal. Like she plays very big internally.
But [00:06:00] yet wasn't dressing confidently, wasn't dressing as expansively as she could. So she's taking steps to remedy that as well. These are two great examples of women who worked on the inside and then honestly looked around and said, it's because I'm not working on the outside. I'm missing some opportunities here.
And that can be true for what appears to be outside in. And Jenny McCarthy is just the first person that is popping in my mind, but she was like an actress. Beautiful. But she had the bimbo roles, but she's actually well-spoken, very articulate, very intelligent, and she had a compelling reason to do research.
Her son was autistic , so she started learning about vaccines and autism and healthy eating and healthy lifestyle. So she's a great example of somebody who may be focused on the outside first and they had a compelling reason [00:07:00] to go inward and start working on that realm as well. Both directions are absolutely valid as long as you are doing the work.
If you are avoiding the opposite side of the spectrum. So if you are a person who works inside out and you are avoiding your physical beauty. If you are playing small, you are still hiding and shrinking. If your body language is drawn inward that says, please don't notice me, you are being unfair to your ability to make impact in the world.
And on the opposite side, if you are someone who does the outside in and you've got the beauty and the fashion and everything where you want it, but you're feeling like something's missing and it's that inner purpose, that inner fire, what makes life worth living outside of these material things? Then that's also your invitation to start digging in a [00:08:00] different realm than what you are most comfortable in, and we all need to do that.
Inside out or outside in both ways are valid, but you do need to do the work. So if this sounds familiar and you are ready to expand into that realm that you don't have as much experience with, I would love to be your guide in that. I help people understand the subconscious architecture, the patterns, the beliefs, the thoughts and the emotions that are creating programs that are helping you or harming you by causing sabotages and resistance. If you would like to learn more about what it could be in your case, then book a free consultation with me at aprildarley.com and you'll find out more about my private coaching programs *Decode *and *Amplify*.
I help you take a look at what's under the hood in your brain, so to speak, so that you can really start looking at the world in a different way and to shift your [00:09:00] perspective so that you are optimizing and expanding this glorious life that you have been given. I hope to see you soon, my friends, and have a great week of love and expansion.
Until next week, bye-bye.
