BSB 102
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Bite-Sized Brilliance podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and welcome to 2026. I'm recording this on New Year's Day, so Happy New Year's to everyone listening. Since it is New Year's, it's natural for us to all think about how to make a fresh start, how to redesign our lives, step into a new identity.
The _"New Year, new you"_ stuff is gonna be absolutely rampant out there. I understand it from a lot of different perspectives. I'm not immune to it. So for example, I'm not a planner person. Like I don't get a planner every year, but I woke up a few days ago, I was like, you know what?
This is the year where I want to expand my systems. I want to build something that's a bit more sustainable and scalable. And I just got this bug that I had to go get a planner, and because I'm not a planner person, I was like, you know what? It's going to be my [00:01:00] goal and my challenge to myself to fill out this planner because I'll let you in on a little secret.
What you resist will persist. And from a neuroscience perspective, when we experience resistance, it means that there is something very important behind that resistance. Yes, there's fear of change specifically, but behind that resistance, there's another piece of you that your higher self knows this is going to change your life big time.
Which is why the survival brain goes kicking and screaming and to no I don't want it because here's the truth. Your brain is designed to keep you alive and to be energy efficient. So what do I mean by that? It actually takes more energy for the brain to develop a new habit than it does to default for [00:02:00] an old one, because you have already created systems and habits that support brain pathways. We're talking about neuroplasticity here. You have already created a very smooth pathway based on your habits, your thoughts, your routines. This gives you dopamine and your brain likes it because it's predictable and familiar. But when you start thinking about change, you're threatening that familiar ecosystem and the brain starts to fight back. When you try to do something new, it's not energy efficient to the brain because you're going to have to expend energy to build a new pathway and to build new habits. That takes time and it's very energetically expensive, so it is natural for your brain to fight change and [00:03:00] expansion, to fight new habits.
When you hit the end of January, you hit February, and that's where people start to fall off on these new habits. It's not failure, it's energy efficiency, but you, my friend, have the ability to practice something elite people have done for ages, and that is mental override. You are in charge of your brain, not the other way around.
And if you continue to put discipline, focus, dedication, and make the decision that you are building this new system, this new pathway, then you will. So I wanted to give you that neuroscience perspective on making your changes in the new year, but I wanted to also address this whole new year, new you thing.
And I sent an email out to my list and in case you're not on that list, I would love to have you. Head over to aprildarley.com and you can [00:04:00] sign up on any page and I send you one email a week. I'm not about to spam your inbox 'cause that's annoying, but you get first crack at some of the things that we talk about on this podcast or a more in depth behind the scenes look a lot of the time.
And I sent this email out to my list detailing a different way to look at New Year's this year. Everybody asks you to sit down and journal some questions about what do you want, what do you wanna change? But a lot of those techniques are deficiency focused. Even if you have a goal there's probably some unmet need or lack behind your reason why you set that goal in the first place. But what if we didn't do that? What if we started out with a different set of questions and we set the goal of expansion and improvement, not lack or [00:05:00] deficiency? So what do I mean by that? First question I want you to ask yourself is, _what qualities do I absolutely love about myself?_
Sit down, write that out. Some of you, that's going to come very quickly. You'll just be able to rattle that off because you're confident and you know what you love about yourself. But for other people, you might have to dig deep. And compliment yourself and really think about what makes me tick in the best way.
This is very important when it comes to designing a life that's not based on fear or deficiency, but it's based on confidence, dedication, and expansion. If you want to increase your impact this year, then these questions are going to help you do that. So question number one,_ what qualities do you absolutely _[00:06:00] _love about yourself?_
Make a list. Number two, _what qualities do you want to amplify for 2026? _Again, this is not deficiency based, but if there is something you want to improve, what's going to get you there? What are you already doing right now that you just need to turn up the volume on? This is where my planner example comes in.
I already have systems. I'm already doing these things, but I'm gonna look at them and go, where can I turn up the volume? Where can I amplify this and make this even easier for me? How can I reach even more people doing tiny tweaks to whatever's already pretty good. Not deficiency, expansion and impact.
So again, question two, _what qualities do you want to amplify for 2026?_ Number three, [00:07:00] _name all of the first class things in your life._ By first class things, it's like airplane seating. First class is quality. It's detail, it's attention, it's luxury, and this doesn't have to mean expensive. so you can have some very first class things in your life that aren't costly, b ut they make your life easier. They make your life smoother and better. So for me it's skincare. I make sure that I buy myself clean, quality skincare.
And that is a first class a rea of my life. It's not like they're super expensive b ut they make me feel good. They make my skin feel good. So that's a first class thing that's in my life. For you, it might be your bedsheets or your towels. It might be the fact that you drink water instead of caffeine.[00:08:00]
It might be that you are diligent in working out five days a week and you love your gym. So, maybe your first class thing might be your gym or your first class thing might be you definitely take the time for self-care. But what is that first class thing for you? So make a list. Again, number three, _write down all of the first class things in your life._ This is things, this is experience. What about you and the life you're living right now is already first class. Okay. Number four is _what are your high quality behaviors?_ Let's examine that. High quality versus low quality. Low quality behaviors are these things that you do that don't advance you or that actually don't add true benefit to your life.
For example, doom scrolling on social media over and over just to distract you [00:09:00] from things. Whether in a procrastination way or you are uncomfortable with some emotions or life is hard, so you're doom scrolling. You're using social media to avoid tackling that thing that's actually a low quality behavior versus something like a high quality behavior.
It's making sure that you do work out that you're eating high quality organic fruits and vegetables, or that you're purchasing the highest quality that you can afford, and whatever that means for you. A high quality behavior is you get up, you make your bed. T hat's a high quality behavior. It shows discipline, dedication.
Maybe for you, it's, you have a schedule that you clean your house. Your house is always clean. That's a high quality behavior. Getting up and going to work with a smile on your face. That's a high quality behavior. Being organized. A low quality behavior would be eating fast food when you can afford something different. It's a choice you make, but it's a low quality one. Another low [00:10:00] quality behavior is not allowing yourself self-care. Making sure everybody else is taking care of it, but not you. That's a low quality behavior. Putting yourself down, insulting yourself, that's a low quality behavior.
So really think about that. Write down _what are my high quality behaviors _and bonus points. If you do wanna expand your impact, go ahead, make note of those low quality behaviors because that can be part of your change plan for 2026. Now the final one is your _core values_. Write down _what your top five core values are,_ and this is tricky for a lot of people, especially corporate or my executive clients.
They can rattle off really easily what their company's core values are, but they can't do that for themselves. If you're listening and you're not part of the corporate machine at all, but [00:11:00] you're an entrepreneur or a creative, have you ever even thought about what your core values might be? This is huge, my friends, because whether you consciously know it or not, I'm about to share a little truth bomb for you. Your core values are things that are so important to you subconsciously, that you will rearrange your life to get them in your life in some way.
You will subconsciously buy products from companies who have core values that are similar to yours. Marketers have known this forever, and they definitely pull that out of their subconscious playbook. But, your core values can help you stay on a path that's really aligned for you, because if you don't know what you stand for, you'll fall for anything.
Core values, as I like to define them, are things that are so important to you that you will pursue it, [00:12:00] that you will sacrifice for it, that you always want to have in your life in some way, that it is so important to you that it is a true priority in your life. So here are my top five, just in case you were wondering.
Number one is optimism for me. I will find this silver lining in pretty much any situation for both me and my clients. Number two is knowledge. Knowledge is so important to me. I am learning something new every day. I am prioritizing my personal development because the more I improve my mind, the better skillset I have to improve your life because you never know when that piece of knowledge I collect from somewhere is the very thing that you need to hear.
Number three, growth. I want to make sure that I am constantly evolving, that I'm growing as a person, and my growth benefits your growth. Because I'm not afraid to use myself as a role [00:13:00] model or a cautionary tale because if I haven't done it, seen it, heard about it, I know someone who has, and I can share that experience with you if you need it.
And number four, it's time freedom. Out of all the different types of freedom, we desire freedom. That's just a human thing. But time freedom is so important to me, and when I had this realization. It was huge because I have turned down opportunities that might have brought me more money because it infringed upon my time, and that was a big indicator that let me know that time was actually more important than money when it was on the freedom scales. And the last one is balance.
Being mentally, emotionally, physically balanced. Achieving inner balance is so important to me that if I ever become imbalanced, I make sure that I check myself before I wreck myself and recorrect as quickly as possible because it's part of my [00:14:00] value system. Now my friend, _what are your top five core values?_ If you're sitting there spiraling and going, I have absolutely no idea.
I don't even know where to start. I've got you covered over on my website, aprildarley.com, I have a resource in the shop tab. It's called the *Values Advantage Workbook*. It's $9 and it is a fill in the blank workbook that will help you get started on what's important to you. What are your core values?
Why are they so important to you? And how you can use them as a strength going forward and curate and design your life instead of being reactionary and letting life happen to you and not for you. So once again, Aprildarley.com. That's called the *Values Advantage Workbook*, and you can grab that over in the shop tab on my website, right at the top.
I'm gonna recap these questions for you again. Number one, [00:15:00] _what qualities do you absolutely love about yourself?_ Number two, _what qualities do you want to amplify for 2026?_ Number three. _List all of your first class things or experiences in life. What do you already love about the life that you're living?_
Number four, _what are your high quality behaviors? What are you already doing that is top notch? _Because I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. All those first four questions are going to help you design a life that is fantastic for 2026, and you're going to reach these goals from a place of amplification and desire because you're gonna be working with your strengths and not focusing on deficiencies.
You're not trying to shore up what's weak. You're expanding what you already do well. Shifting the perspective and applying that system to a different area in your life. The brain [00:16:00] likes that because the brain views that as energetically efficient because you've already created the system somewhere, you're just tweaking it, and now applying an already established pathway and system to a new endeavor.
The brain views it as less risky and not truly new because you are recycling and a system that's already built. Makes it so much easier. And finally, _what are your core values?_ Because this is your North star, this is your compass in life. And if you don't know where you're going, it's easy to be led astray.
Alright, my friends, I am wishing you a very fabulous 2026. Thank you for being in my world. Thank you for listening and let's make it an amazing year. Goodbye my friends.
