BSB 99
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Bite-Sized Brilliance podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and recently I had a client who came to me and brought somebody else's issues into the session. She's in part a nurturer archetype, and that's really common for that personality is to not just wanna help themselves, but to use that knowledge or their resources to help other people.
And as a coach, a therapist or a physician, you might have had that experience yourself. And so I listened to her tell me the story about her friend who has this entire cascade of health problems that all started around 2020, and I'm sure you can guess what the most likely culprit was.
But my client was asking me for. Just recommendations. Now, I don't normally do that because that falls out of the realm of the scope. That person is not my client [00:01:00] and so we had to talk about that. I definitely saw this sort of thing often as a physician.
I was a naturopathic physician, and one of the things that we jokingly call ourselves is we're the _physicians of last resort. _Meaning a lot of people with cascade health problems don't end up in a naturopath's presence until they have exhausted what they feel mainstream medicine is able to offer them.
And unfortunately they still want the magic bullet. _Can you give me this one pill that will cure all the things?_ 'cause we're human and we want speed, and that's what that is like. But when she started listing all of her friends' health complaints, it made me think about something that I wanna talk about for this episode. I want you to stop right now.
Take a big deep breath and ask yourself if something that you're dealing with right now, [00:02:00] is it a surface level issue problem, or is it something that you feel is deep, complicated, complex, or layered? Simple or deep? So take a minute, let that answer pop into your mind. And if you said the answer is surface level, simple, acute, even, that's great because your coach, your therapist, your physician is generally able to knock that out pretty quickly if it's a new thing that's mostly unrelated to other things.
But if you have a complex system with a lot of moving parts and you answered deep to that question, then I want you to imagine the Russian nesting dolls. You may have seen them. It's a big doll, and then you open it up and there's a slightly smaller doll. You open it up a slightly smaller doll, and you're gonna be doing that about 10 times before you get to the teeny tiny [00:03:00] little doll inside.
When you're talking about personal healing, whether it's mental, emotional, or physical, if you answer deep. That you have an intuitive or intellectual reasoning for answering that way that you know it's complex and a lot of moving parts and pieces, a lot of symptoms in your life are probably related to something deep.
Then you've got a Russian nesting doll situation, and if you try to go for a quick surface level result, then you might be taking off the outer layer. The biggest doll. There's another one underneath. And so I had to tell my client, it's look, I can't give you these answers. Her situation is very complex and very deep, and she's not my client, right?
And I retired as a physician, so that's not within my scope. But I referred her on to a colleague where she lived, and if you have [00:04:00] something with a lot of moving parts and pieces. You want quick resolution because that's normal, but your entry point will be a lot like those nesting dolls. And when you are doing coaching, or if you're a physician, sometimes you have to approach problems as if they were triage and what I see often in the coaching world, is that this issue that is causing you pain isn't the most urgent issue, but it feels like it is because it bothers you. But what you want to be solved immediately may not be the best entry point for us to start peeling all of these dolls away to get you a solution that's going to last. So it's the difference between taking these dolls off one by one to get to the prize in the center, or you taking a hammer, you [00:05:00] smashing the entire thing through the side and extracting the doll out.
Sometimes you might be asking your coach, your therapist, your physician, to do that. You say destroy the whole construct to get the prize on the inside. Sometimes that is the best practice, but usually that would be a little bit too traumatic to your overall healing. And there is a reason why you peel these things off layer by layer because it gives your mind, your body, your spirit, these chances to adjust.
In the weight loss world, plateaus are resented. Especially if you're in the gym. It's like you have this muscle growth and this weight loss, and then you hit the plateau and you're like,_ I just wanna move faster_. But sometimes moving faster is not the best thing for your overall health because your body needs time to adjust to your new normal and your new reality.
It's like setting a thermostat. If you get hot and [00:06:00] you crank the thermostat down, you might freeze your air conditioner, and that's a big repair bill. But if you gradually lower temperature, a couple degrees at a time, you give the system a chance to adjust, so you are going to get the result that you want, and it just requires a little patience, but also having a practitioner that's going to do the right strategy to make you comfortable or to stretch you, but is not going to break you in the process.
And I really wanted to get that across to you that the right strategy is for you to work on the right thing that's going to get the best, fastest result for you. So it's not about speed, it's the combination of speed, accuracy, and precision that are going to lead you where you want to go. It does require trust and patience on your part.
I know many of us are like, [00:07:00] eh, trust in patience. It's _can we not, can we just go fast? Let's go._ But there is wisdom in taking these pit stops, even if you look at life as a race. Even the racers have to come in. They have to come in a gas up, they gotta get air in the tires, they have to have new tires.
Pit stops are a normal part of life, and that's what these plateaus are, and that's what the nesting doll situation sometimes is doing for you. It's taking off a layer that's ready to leave and uncovering something else underneath. What I like to do for my clients is to make the unseen visible for them.
And to help you hear the voice that is trying to be heard, that is trying to give you information, your subconscious is trying to make something known to your conscious brain. I'm going to give you the strategy, the technique, and the skills to listen, [00:08:00] interpret and strategize. If you go to my website, there's something on there.
It's simplify, stabilize, strategize, and that's what I want for you. I want to make these answers simple. I want to stabilize your emotional outlook. So that's a lot like triage. We're gonna work on the right thing at the right moment, and then we're gonna strategize how to make sure that you are getting the transformation and the result that you want.
Sometimes it's not hard and fast. That's not the best. Also, going too slow is not the best. You want to find that goldilocks spot in the middle where you are best able to thrive and create as we go. That is triage. That is strategy. It's a partnership between both of us, you and I. Right now, I only work with clients one-to-one because nobody in the world thinks, feels believes or acts just like you.
You are completely unique. [00:09:00] So the solutions and the strategies that I craft for you are unique. They're bespoke, and if you would like to learn more about that, head on over to my website, aprildarley.com and book a free strategy session. We're going to talk about your issue and how the Bespoke Brain System that I teach my clients can get you that simple, stable, strategic result that you're looking for.
