BSB Ep 80
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Bite-Size Brilliance podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and today's episode was inspired by a philosophical thought I had about money mindset. If you've ever heard of Denise Duffield Thomas Love her. She's great. She's a money mindset mentor and she's getting ready to launch her Sacred Money Archetypes course.
I've been a part of that community for many years and it's really wonderful. And in that community, you will hear women from all walks of life talk about their relationship with money. For some women who are 6, 7, 8 figure women, they don't have a lot of spaces sometimes to celebrate their money wins without somebody giving them the side eye.
And for others who are struggling with money, they're struggling to make even a thousand dollars a month with their business. They're brand new, they're really working on things. You have those people in there as well. So the group is very loving and [00:01:00] supporting. But I wanted to talk about the difference that occurred to me when I see some people who have done all the right "things" about money mindset, but they're still not seeing the income that they want or they feel they need or deserve. And they've worked on things from so many different angles. They've worked on the top common money myths. They've worked on their blocks, they've befriended their money. So what is it? What is the secret that these other people seem to have?
But if you're struggling, you don't have. I f you've ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I really encourage you to look that up, especially if you're a visual learner, because I'm gonna talk you through this a little bit. At the bottom layer of this pyramid Maslow determined that we have safety and security needs at the bottom, levels one and two.
[00:02:00] And really, these are things that we spend a lot of time trying to acquire if we feel we don't have them. At the very bottom of the triangle are the physiological needs for safety. So you need food, shelter, water, air to breathe, and the next level up is the psychological need for safety.
You need to feel like you're in a safe environment around people who make you feel safe. It's that sense of psychological safety and when you go up a level, so let's just say you feel safe where you are. You got plenty of food, plenty of water, you're not worried about shelter. Then you're free to think about love and belonging.
This is, do you have friends or family where you feel loved, accepted, supported, and encouraged? If so, then you are free to move up a level to [00:03:00] personal development. And finally, spiritual development. Now, Maslow said, we don't just get stuck at a level that's not how it works. We have a very complex brain, and as humans, we are working on multiple levels at once.
I wanted to give you that little bit of background because now I'm going to introduce this concept that really popped into my mind today about scarcity versus deficiency. If you were to describe scarcity, you would probably use the words not enough. And generally you would use that in terms of money or food because you hear the terms food scarcity, money scarcity, and there is that element of not enough.
So if you are early on in your money mindset journey, then that is probably t he thoughts, the feelings, the focus, the emotions that you're going to have. It is a scarcity [00:04:00] mindset because maybe that happened to you at some point in your past. Maybe you're worried that it's going to happen again, not your logical brain, but your subconscious might worry that if you've been in a tough spot once, it's super easy to be in a tough spot again, because that's how our brain works. It works through pattern recognition and it tries to keep you safe by predicting your future, but that's not always helpful. If you have done your scarcity work and you've made friends with money, you've made your peace with, "Okay, I have enough food, I've done my gratitude work.
I have money, I can pay my bills", but there's not excess, or there's not more. Then I would encourage you to move it up a level into that love and belonging level, or in my Bespoke Brain System that often is gonna correspond to your emotional brain, which is about [00:05:00] being loved, being accepted, feeling like you belong, you fit in.
This is where your intuition, your creativity, your uniqueness lie here and, in this level, in my bespoke system,, there's no actual logic to it. And if you've done any sort of mindset work or you've made a vision board, then you've probably heard the subconscious speaks in images, not in words. And this is difficult for me because I'm a person who loves words.
The brain is full of nuance, and your logical brain will make words that are of similar concepts the same. For example, safe and safety, your logical brain will go same, same, same, but your emotional and survival brain can split those apart into two completely different concepts. So you might have done a lot of inner work on safe, but if [00:06:00] you have a slightly different definition of the word safety, then you may still test out or have issues or programs that are running in the background that frustrate you. That seems like, why do I have these issues? Because I've worked on this concept, and that is definitely true. But it's like, yes, and yes, you have worked on that concept and your brain might be sneaky and is reacting to other words that are similar but different.
I see this a lot when clients come to me with money mindset issues, that they can be okay with the word money. But if I test them, they're often not okay with different words like wealth or prosperity or excess, more, luxury, opulence, legacy. These are all different definitions to the brain. [00:07:00] So if you didn't know that and you're beating your head against the wall going, why isn't this working?
Then I would invite you to switch the angle of that and to be your own thesaurus and start playing around with how different words make you feel, and that if you were to define these different words to like say a space alien who had no idea what they meant, what would they mean? Then take a look at your definition and see if you can spot something that you know you are not okay with.
For example. I had a client be okay with the word money. But when he said the word more, his voice would change. And that's a clear indicator that one of your three brains in my system is not okay with what you just said. Because when there is an incongruency or an inner conflict, the pitch of your voice changes and you [00:08:00] tend to elongate your vowels.
I've trained myself to hear that. And when my clients know, I can hear that sometimes they can catch it themselves and they'll tell me, "ooh, that didn't feel good" in their body. My more self-aware clients, they'll catch this feeling when they say a word when they work with me. It's like, "oh, okay. There's some part of me that doesn't believe what I just said".
This client, he was okay , with money, but I had to get him okay, with more, especially more money. And then excess, excess money and put these concepts together because the brain, again, it's sneaky. You might be okay with one piece of a sentence, but not okay with the other piece. If they are put together by the word and.
So I'm okay with money and luxury. The brain is tricky and that's why this type of subconscious work, money mindset [00:09:00] work, self-esteem work can take a while because you are unpeeling the layers of this onion. If you have done a ton of money work, then you have probably faced the issue of scarcity from many different angles.
So let's talk about deficiency. Deficiency is also not enough. There's an element of that, not enoughness in there, but it's often going to be referring to that love and belonging area of that hierarchy of needs or in your subconscious. It's a form of scarcity of spirit, if you will. If you are still trying to improve your life, then look for areas where you may feel deficient that have absolutely nothing to do with money, job, material things, physical resources of any kind. So you are looking at your emotional resources. [00:10:00] And these are things that will not make logical sense. Your emotional brain or your subconscious creates its own reality.
And we call that emotional reality that has no correlation necessarily to actual reality. So you can believe something that other people would go, "Are you kidding me? That's not true". Like you can believe, "oh, I'm a terrible singer" and your best friend would be like, "What? You sound amazing. Like that's, why we always ask you to sing".
Sometimes what we believe is the biggest obstacle. It's not true, but we have emotionally thought, a thought for so long it's become a belief. And this belief doesn't make sense because it's not based, in fact, it's based in emotion. When you're looking for a deficient mindset or a deficiency mindset, you wanna look at these areas that [00:11:00] are about self-esteem or about performance where you might not feel enough, or even if you were to look at childhood and go, "Yes, I was loved but not enough. Not in the way that I wanted". The brain is tricky. And I often will say it's hard to navigate those complicated streets unless you have some sort of guide or a system or a format to follow.
And this is what I offer my clients with the Bespoke Brain System. First, I'm going to show you these three levels of consciousness that we easily surf, in and out every day. We're not stuck on one level. We flex and adapt. I'm gonna really explain to you how they're operating in your life. And when you have this awareness, then you can start to change.
So first comes the awareness. Second, we start looking at your thoughts and the [00:12:00] beliefs that you have created based on thoughts and emotions, and we're gonna tease that apart. Is that actual reality or is this an emotional reality? Or is this a habit you adopted because of a survival based need? We're also gonna look at your nervous system in a different way.
I have a way to reset you by looking at the core drivers and core fears that your brain, and body have fallen into based on the system. And this will be unique to you. For example, one person can look at a melting ice cream cone and go, "oh, that's terrible. I won't be able to eat it fast enough.
Or it's getting on my fingers. It's sticky and it's gross". Where another person can have the same experience and go, "Ooh, it makes it easier to eat. This is fun" and this is why your patterning, your mental patterning is unique to you. And why some of you [00:13:00] one size fits all mindset advice doesn't necessarily land for you because that advice may not match the patterning and the wiring that you have created for yourself.
But the good news is wiring can be rewired. Learning can be unlearned and relearned, and you can reset yourself to a desired state, not a reactionary state. If you would like to learn more about how my Bespoke Brain System can help you understand how you're wired, understand is this helpful or harmful, and create a new strategy to get you where you want to be.
Not settle for where you are. You can find that on my website, aprildarley.com. Go to the booking tab at the top and schedule your complimentary consultation call and we will dive in to how you are patterned and wired and work through any scarcity or deficiency [00:14:00] mindset issues that you might still be frustrated with.
Until next week, my friends. Goodbye.
