BSB Ep 70
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Bitesize Brilliance Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. April Darley, and today I wanna talk about alignment. If you're in the woo woo spiritual, psychological world at all, you've probably seen someone somewhere talking about are you in alignment? If you're not in alignment, then that might be why you're not seeing your goal or your manifestation, but what does that really mean?
Alignment. I can remember, and if you're listening to this, you're probably my people and you have tried to do some manifestation. You've done some goal setting, and you understand that it's really frustrating when you are doing all the things that all the people tell you to do, but you're just not seeing what you want.
And sometimes they'll say, well, you're just not in alignment with it. I have gotten so frustrated with that. I was like, I wanna be in alignment. Why am I not in alignment? So because I do [00:01:00] mindset coaching, neuro coaching, I'm digging into that. Why am I not in alignment sometimes? If you've listened long enough or you've been one of my clients hopped on one of my blogs. Then you know, I teach the Bespoke Brain system. This is that three brain system, and it's kind of like having a boardroom in your head with three different people. You have the Survival Brain, which is your security department. You've got your emotional brain, which is like hr.
It wants everybody to get along, feel like you're loved, accepted, seen, heard, respected, and then you have the CEO or the logical brain, which is the one that makes the plan, executes it. And when all three brains, just like all three departments of a business are in agreement about what the goal is, it's a happy work environment.
You feel a lot of inner peace. You're in that state of alignment or flow, but when one of the three brains, or one of [00:02:00] those three people in your boardroom disagrees. on the goal or the plan or the objective, you get this disconnect, and then you just have three people arguing about what the best course of action should be and why, and you understand how that plays out in a business scenario.
But this is going on inside your head all the time, but you don't necessarily know it because that CEO or the logical brain is not the one in charge. It is the HR department and the Survival Department. And really it's the survival brain because if you are threatened, that security team is gonna lock down the whole building, which it's gonna hijack you and what you want to do.
So when you think you're in alignment, here's what might be happening. There is a real difference between what you think you believe and what you actually believe, and that's the piece that may not be in [00:03:00] true alignment because we think we want things for a lot of reasons, and they sound really great logically.
But when you get down to doing those things, then we're like, Hmm, I don't know. I don't really know about that. And fear gets in the way a lot when it comes to belief and what I call true belief because you can believe, let's say, for example, can use money. If you believe I want more money, I. Logically, that sounds like a great belief.
But when I do kinesiology testing, or back in the day when I did a different mind body technique, I used to do this muscle testing with people, and I would ask them to say , I'm okay winning a lottery and let me tell you my friends. Right now, if I asked you, , "Would you be okay winning the lottery?"
99% of you would say yes, and you believe [00:04:00] it. You believe that you would be okay winning the lottery. But did you know that when I muscle tested people when I used to do demonstrations, 99% of people did not test okay They did not believe that that was true, possible or a good thing for them on either their subconscious or their unconscious survival level.
So this came as a huge shock to them. What do you mean I don't really believe it? Of course I want it. So this is a logical brain talking. If I would ask you what would be the worst thing that would happen if you won the lottery? Most people are gonna go "Nothing" immediately, or they would say, "I don't know."
But what is happening underneath is your emotional brain or your survival brain, they do know, and here are some common answers when people really thought about it, and we worked through that example in a demonstration, is that some people would [00:05:00] say, "I wouldn't be sure if people loved me for me or for my money."
Another one is people might try to come after me and my family to steal our money so that it's this unsafe my family and I would not be safe with this money, which is huge to that survival brain, or all kinds of people would be asking me for money and then I'd have to tell them no, and that would make me feel bad.
These are all reasons that people eventually came up with on why winning the lottery would not be good for them, but they didn't come up with it immediately. They had to be pressed about it. They had to really get outta that logical brain that says, there's no problem. I'm in total alignment and really understand that their belief wasn't true Belief.
That there is a difference, and asking yourself one of these two questions, "What's the worst thing that might happen if I got what I [00:06:00] wanted?", or "What would be the worst part about that for me, if I got what I wanted?" And sitting with that and seeing what you come up with and what you come up with will not be a logical answer.
It will be something that is emotional or survival based. And I'm gonna give you an example on one of my money mindset mentors. Denise Duffield Thomas. She was trying to manifest a beach house. She eventually did, but when it was in the visionary goal stage, and she would ask herself, "What would be the worst thing that would happen if I got the beach house?"
Do you know what she said? She said the entire thing could be wiped out by a tsunami. All of my family gets killed. We die because I got this stupid beach house. Is that rational? No. I mean, is there some chance her beach house could get wiped out by a tsunami? Sure, but it's a low [00:07:00] chance. I mean, the chances are never zero, but like super low.
And so your brain is doing this risk and benefit thing all the time unbeknownst to you. So you might believe you want what you think you want, but do you have true belief with it? And that's a little bit harder to ascertain. And sometimes we do need a third party to ask us these questions or to do things like muscle testing or to guide you through do you really believe what you think you believe?
This is where that misalignment comes in, that people are trying to get you to recognize when they say you're out of alignment, they're trying to get you to the state of true belief. And to go into that state of true belief, you wanna do a few things. You need to look at where resistance might be to getting what you want.
Because I'm here to tell you it's a 50 50 [00:08:00] chance on whether you're actually afraid of failure or you're afraid of success. And what I'm seeing with my clients who are high achievers, it's skewing more toward fear of success, not failure, but there's a piece of your brain that views success as failure.
This is where that disconnect comes in. And let's look at the beach house example to get the beach house success. Means that your entire family dies in a tsunami failure. So this is why it's tricky and this is why I love running everything through this three brain system. My Bespoke Brain system, because you're going to be able to understand where is the resistance hiding?
Is it survival? Is it emotion? Is it logical? And spoiler alert, it's not gonna be logical. It's gonna be one of the other two. You're gonna be concerned about, will you be loved? Will you fit in? Will you still have freedom? Will you have creativity? [00:09:00] Will you have individuality and then survival? Will you have enough food, enough shelter?
Will you be able to keep everyone safe and alive? If you get the thing you want. So to get that true belief, you wanna work out any resistance and fears that might be hiding in this subconscious, unconscious level. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know. Just like those people who were so sure that they were okay winning the lottery, they couldn't logically fathom.
No they weren't. So if you're struggling right now. with reaching a goal or manifesting anything, and you're getting a little irritated with alignment. Why don't I have the thing? Then this is what I would invite you to do, is to go through these levels and really start looking for resistance to success.
What could possibly go wrong if you get the [00:10:00] thing, and then when you work that out, you can enter a state of true belief, and this is where alignment or flow or any of the other words that people use tends to happen. So it's understanding the resistance and then getting to that place where you're confident succeeding.
Confident and okay to live without the friction or resistance. So if you think, wow, I don't even know where to start with that, let me help you. I do free consultations by phone and my Bespoke Brain System is the thing that guides you through the levels. it takes you through awareness. It takes you through understanding the resistance.
It's going to teach you how your brain naturally thinks and works in all three levels so that you can create a [00:11:00] plan to overcome and bypass this resistance. So it's learning to work with the tools that you have smarter instead of just floundering through life on an automatic pilot and not being aware of what's hiding within you.
And then sitting at a state of belief, but not true belief. Having some success but not quite what you want. Trying to manifest, but not quite getting there. It's gonna help you release that frustration to solve these roadblocks that you keep running into and to reach that state of peace inner agreement with your brains and alignment.
You really wanna have that state of flow. So over at aprildarley.com, you can sign up for your free 20 minute phone consultation and let's hear what you've got. Let's see what your goal is, what you're trying to manifest, and then I'll show you how to get there, working with yourself instead of against [00:12:00] yourself.
Alright, my friends, if you have enjoyed this podcast, please like, subscribe, share with your friends, drop me a comment. I would love to hear if you've got any suggestions for future episodes or what really resonated with you in this episode. Until next week, goodbye.
