Have you ever considered that your brain might be exactly like an untrained dog?

Some dogs jump all over you, chew your shoes, and make it impossible to talk to anyone because they're constantly barking and getting on your nerves. Others are nice and well trained, do fun tricks, and generally make your life feel better to be around.

An out-of-control brain isn't much different than that untrained dog. It makes life harder, not just for you, but sometimes for the people around you too.

What does an untrained brain actually look like?

One that ruminates on worst-case scenarios, fear, and falls into doom loops that are difficult to get out of. You might even lash out at your boss, coworkers, or loved ones, and sometimes anxiety can get so strong it almost shuts you down. For some people, it puts them in a "freeze" state where they withdraw from the world for a while just to recover.

Does this sound familiar?

If so, then I've got some good news for you. Much like dogs, your brain can be trained!

Learning To Drive Feels A Lot Like Training Your Brain

Before you were old enough to get behind the wheel, you watched your parents drive for years. You knew there was a gear shift, a few pedals, and your parents made it look easy. So, there was probably some part of you thinking, "This won't be that hard."

Then you actually sit in the driver's seat and reality hits.

Suddenly you're supposed to pay attention to everything at once, keep your car between the lines, stay in your lane, and the first time another car approaches from the opposite direction, you're convinced you're about to have a head-on collision and die.

If you've been driving for a while, then you may not remember that feeling. But at some point, driving stopped feeling terrifying and started feeling automatic.

You built muscle memory and stopped thinking about every little thing because your brain learned what to do.

Training your brain works the same way.

At first, it can feel difficult because your brain is still doing what it's always done. Replaying worst-case scenarios, fear, and getting stuck in thought loops. Your brain will run these automatic programs with the same outcomes until you learn to replace them consistently. 

Your Brain Is Wired To Notice Danger

Humans are biologically wired to notice danger. From an evolutionary perspective, paying attention to threats helped keep us alive.

However, there are people in professions whose jobs require them to run TOWARD danger. Military personnel, first responders, firefighters, emergency room doctors and nurses to name a few.

When you look at what they do, some part of you might be thinking, "Yeah, but I'm not like that. Those people are different."

Those people didn't magically wake up one day knowing how to do that. Running toward difficult situations, standing your ground when fear shows up, and keeping your head when things feel overwhelming takes training.

You and your brain are capable of doing the same with training. Fear is the default until you learn a different way to move through life. 

Your Brain Has Three Gears

One of the easiest ways to understand your brain is to think about it like a car with three gears. That's it. First, second, and third gear.

If you've been driving for decades, even if you drive an automatic like me and have never touched a stick shift, you still understand that your car shifts gears depending on what it needs to do. Faster speeds need higher gears. Lower gears are for when you need to go slowly and cautiously.

Your brain works the same way.

First Gear: Survival Brain

This is fear mode where you feel the adrenaline pumping, your brain starts scanning for danger, and everything suddenly feels more urgent than it probably needs to.

In this gear, your nervous system is primed to respond primarily with fight or flight depending on the threat. It's a gear designed for fast detection, but not accuracy because it can't tell the difference between something real, and perceived danger like stressful thoughts. 

Here, you can get sucked into worst-case scenarios, or reactionary behavior that feels automatic in the moment and frustrating afterward. For some, the overwhelming stress for an extended period of time will cause a "system shut down" typically called a freeze state where you may self-isolate or spend the weekend in bed recovering from the stress of the week. 

This gear exists for a reason. It's exactly the gear you'd want your brain in if you were actually in danger. The problem is that sometimes your brain gets stuck here when the danger is long gone, or when the “danger” is the result of modern-day stress, uncertainty, or your own thoughts getting a little out of control.

Second Gear: Recovery Brain

Second gear is recovery, relaxation, and contentment. This gear relates to your desire to feel loved, belong, and to enjoy life as much as possible. Examples include spending time with people you love, enjoying a good meal or movie, laughing, and getting a good night's sleep. 

Every action phase needs a recovery phase. If you stay action-oriented and don't allow time for recovery, you rob the brain and body of the time they need to process change.

It's not noble to stay in action mode all the time, even though your ego would like to tell you that somehow it makes you more resilient. Your brain and body need recovery just as much as they need courage in the action phase.

Third Gear: Action Brain

Third gear is action and planning mode.

This is focusing, organizing, strategy, getting things done, and moving life forward. It's the gear you want your brain in when you need to stabilize your emotions, make complex decisions, or create a plan.

These gears are available to you all the time, but you can't use the same gear for every situation. Unless you're dealing with a life-or-death situation, first gear usually creates more harm than help.

Without discernment and awareness, this is where you and your brain can get stuck.

Trying to function in third gear (logic) while stuck in first (survival) leads to more anxiety, less focus, and more fear than you need in your day. That's a little like trying to drive seventy miles an hour in first gear and wondering why everything feels so difficult.

You Can Train Your Brain

This is exactly the kind of work I do with clients.

We'll figure out why you can't let something go, why you keep thinking, "I should be over this already", why certain situations turn into worst-case scenarios, and how to train your brain differently so stress stops taking over your entire day.

If you're curious what that could look like for you, you can explore working together or schedule a consultation call HERE.

Dr. April Darley is a brain-based neuroscience coach and subconscious strategist who specializes in high-level brain coaching for professionals and leaders She helps high-capacity leaders identify and recalibrate the hidden patterns between the survival, emotional, and logical brain so their decisions and execution become clear, stable, and powerful.