What Do You Deserve?

self-esteem Jun 20, 2023

Recently, I was going through some journal entries and came across this pearl of wisdom, “You get what you think you deserve”. 

When you read that, what was your reaction?

The concept of deserving is often very polarizing. It’s going to make some people agree, while others may feel like it’s unfair, entitled, cringe inducing, or even painful if they personally feel unworthy of good things. Your personal reaction may depend on the definition your subconscious has created around the concept of worth and deserving.

An exercise that I often do with my clients to help them understand why they’re experiencing anxiety around a particular issue involves space aliens. No really, stay with me for a second! It may sound absurd, but this exercise allows you to think around whatever mental/emotional blocks you’ve created around a concept or issue.

Here’s the exercise: If you had to explain deserving to space aliens, who had no idea what this meant, what would you say?

A person’s definition to a concept, in this case the concept of deserving, is created by your subconscious brain based on your own beliefs, conditioning, and life experiences. For a person with low self-esteem, their answers are generally around a feeling of low self-worth, value, perfectionism, and success or failure. For others with a healthy self-esteem and sense of confidence, the definition could be based around the belief that good things are supposed to happen, life can be easy, and they’re worth it.

Every emotion or concept has a spectrum of uses and severity. For example, “You deserve it”,  can be an amazing affirmation or like a curse depending on the situation. Because every emotion sits along a spectrum, this explains why there are so many different emotions that we attach to certain concepts based on your personal experience.

If you’ve had positive experiences with self-worth, then you’re more likely to feel acceptance towards deserving something special in your life. However, if your self-esteem is low, then you’ll doubt whether you’re worthy of having good things, or even have the limiting belief that if you have something good, it means that others go without. Both are equally troubling and may be sources of anxiety.

Eleanor Roosevelt has one of my favorite quotes, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 

How you think and feel about yourself shapes your reality. Your subconscious (AKA your emotional brain) is highly programmable and will believe anything you tell it, positive or negative. If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, you may be rejecting good things that you really do deserve out of a misplaced sense of scarcity or guilt.

When you work with the Three Brain Realignment Technique (TBRT), you’ll uncover hidden triggers and origin stories that are playing on repeat and affecting your sense of self esteem in the present.

When you change your story, you change your life.

To increase your self-esteem and change your life for the better, book your consultation or appointment HERE.

April Darley is a Resilience Coach specializing in helping people release stress, anxiety, pain, and sabotaging behavior. Through the Three Brain Realignment Technique (TBRT), you'll learn how to step into your own power, comfortably deal with life's challenges, and stay calm and balanced. 

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