Is A Less Than Ideal Version of You in Charge of Your Life?

A few years ago, I became obsessed with post-apocalyptic fashion.

It was probably a pandemic side-effect, but if it was asymmetrical, ripped, and looked like I'd just crossed the desert with Mad Max, then I loved it. Or at least I thought I did. 

However, when I was invited to a business event a few months later, I opened my closet and was horrified to discover that a good chunk of it was now black, shredded, and in no way represented the business side of me. 

I've always loved to shop, but I've never felt like I nailed it when it comes to my personal style. I'd buy clothes and at some point, I'd regret them because they didn't fit well, or weren't a good match to the occasion. 

Now, in the past, I've blamed it on several things.

My astrology (Taurus Sun, Gemini Venus), growing up as a poor kid, or my body type. I just figured that fashion was one of those things I was going to suck at for life. 

There were a couple of realizations that helped me understand why fashion felt complicated for me.

The first is that fashion is a skill. Yes, some people are born naturally gifted in that skill, but it is possible to develop a fashion sense if you feel you're lacking in that area. 

The next is that I'd allowed my inner teenager to go shopping.

She took my credit card and bought every grunge-tastic thing her little heart desired.  Honestly, this was one of the biggest realizations that has changed how I view my self-image. 

Instead of falling into a shame or regret spiral about my clothes, I started working with my inner teenager to figure out what she needed. You hear a lot about inner child work, but healing your inner teenager is equally valuable. 

Your inner teenager is often your wild child, the rebellious maverick, and risk-taking part of yourself.

When you act impulsively, lash out, or make decisions that don't seem to fit who you are most of the time, then it's often this part of your personality that's making the decisions for you. 

We all have different versions of ourselves or inner archetypes that contribute to our behavior.

Often, these versions are formed as coping mechanisms to deal with disappointment, trauma, or our values being violated. 

For example, I had a client who came to me to work on money blocks related to spending. She had a good job and plenty of money, but she felt guilty every time she even thought about buying something for herself. 

An inner voice would begin to criticize her for wanting to buy even small things like a new tube of lipstick or coffee from Starbucks. I dubbed this voice her inner accountant. 

The accountant archetype was overly rigid and not concerned with self-care. It would berate her for even wanting to feel some joy because it would cost money. 

After working together, she realized that this archetype was based off her grandfather. As a young girl, he would often tell her about the hardships he endured during the Great Depression and was extremely frugal. 

She was able to understand and clear her money block once she realized that this archetype existed to help keep her safe, even if it made her unhappy. Whenever she hears the inner accountant's voice now, she just thanks it and promptly ignores it because she's in charge!

If you find that you're unhappy regarding some area of your life, then ask yourself what version of you is making the decisions.

Together, we can work on finding the origin event contributing to blocks or sabotages and then remove them. To book an appointment with me, click HERE. 

April Darley is a Confidence and Resilience Coach specializing in helping overwhelmed women release anxiety and doubt so they can become more confident, decisive, and have better quality relationships with others. Through the Three Brain Realignment Technique (TBRT), you'll learn how to step into your own power, and comfortably deal with life's challenges.