Are You Faking It?

You've heard the phrase "Fake it until you make it", right?

The positive intention behind that statement is to get you to move forward despite your fears. Sometimes you have to jump in and do something before you're completely ready. This requires you to be brave to get things done.

Now, the downside to the "fake it until you make it" concept is that it may lead you to unconsciously believe that in order to succeed, you'll need to be fake in some way. False!!!

You may have also heard the advice to be your true self, and success comes when you're being completely authentic. Sooooo....what should you believe? The fake it vs authentic dilemma is enough to cause internal conflicts. In some way or another, we're all faking it about something. 

You may be wondering what the down side could possibly be when you fake it. Here are the most common things that distress my clients when they've been faking it for too long.

1) You feel unhappy, restless, lost, and stuck.

If you're going against your true self for too long, then unhappiness is the natural result. It's the number one consequence of doing things you don't really want to do. This can be from working a job you can't stand, putting on a smile when you're feeling terrible, or changing your personal appearance to fit in etc. 

2) You've lost touch with your own wants, needs, and desires. 

When you've been faking it for too long (aka people pleasing), then it's hard to tune into what really makes YOU tick. I'm not even talking about the major things in life, but even something small like what you want to eat, wear, and where you'd like to go on vacation. Losing yourself happens slowly over time. It's giving away your power over the little things until it becomes the big things, Then, you're left wondering what happened. 

3) You keep trying different things to change, but they don't work.

I don't know too many people who adore change. Sure, we'll do it when we have too, but usually begrudgingly with a little bit of fear. How often do we really throw ourselves into change with a lot of faith that we'll be perfectly fine? 

When you first become aware that faking it is one reason you're so unhappy, you may try different things to figure out who you really are and what you want. It can be incredibly frustrating because it takes practice to tune into your true self, and start doing what's best for you. So, much like a toddler or teenager, you try out different things that are close to what you want, but not quite it. Don't give up! We give children a lot of chances to make mistakes, but we're so hard on ourselves. It's ok to try out different things until you uncover/rediscover you're personal taste, wants, and desires. Then, let yourself have it! 

Journaling Exercise: 

1) What area of your life do you feel like you're faking it? (i.e. Where are you feeling unhappy and not your true self?)

*Work?

*Love life?

*Personal style or taste?

*Friends or Family?

2) Next, write down how you'd like things to change. Do you know what you want?

3) What steps can you take today to stop faking it and become your true self? (Baby steps count!)

If you're having trouble releasing fear, guilt, shame or regret (aka blocks) about becoming your true self and stepping into your power, then consider Emotional Strength Coaching. You really can let those things go!

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 April Darley N.D. is an Emotional Strength Coach specializing in helping Empaths/Highly Sensitive People (HSP's) feel better, and function better by releasing stress, anxiety, pain, and sabotaging behavior. Through the combination of coaching and emotional release techniques, you'll learn how to step into your own power, comfortably deal with life's challenges, and stay calm and balanced.